That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
