my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
