That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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