I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
