i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
