My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
