You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
