So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need moral support for this bender
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
