why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
