I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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