The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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