I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
