Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you have to choose: penises or morals?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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