well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
