How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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