and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is the high leading the old right now
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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