I think I died a long time ago.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
