Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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