bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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