I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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