I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize