turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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