Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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