I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
