In America we eat man semen.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I currently don't understand fingers.
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