What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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