i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize