just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
