Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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