Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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