Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
