She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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