But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
