hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
