If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
