i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome