how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!