drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night