Your face is a jimmy john
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize