Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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