I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
