Will you blow on my dice?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
