It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
