she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
