Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
