a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
