I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
