yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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