Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
