Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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