I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sext me about skeletons
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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