i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
