I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
