her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
