oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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