Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
