I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
