how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
the raccoons are back...
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