and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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