You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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