If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
