Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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