Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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